


uoy ssim I

by titowrites



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, M/M, also cursing?? if that bothers you idk, also it mainly follows connor, connors tweet and everyone freaking out made me anxious, idk its my first time don't judge me, minor though, so this is sort of an anxiety fic??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5549834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/titowrites/pseuds/titowrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>@ConnorFranta: sudden. unexpected. change. is. the. worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	uoy ssim I

**Author's Note:**

> I've started countless amount of work for this pairing and this is the only thing I've ever finished. Although I hate the ending. I'm sorry?  
> Please go easy on me, I'm a fragile little bird. 
> 
> As for the anxiety bits. Everyone deals with their issues differently and I may have gone a bit personal with the characteristics Connor has, meaning I tend to do the habits I lightly touch on. I don't wish to offend anyone who might not agree with what I headacanoned this fictional version of Connor deals with, or how he deals with things. This is a work of fiction and I hope you enjoy what I came up with.

Connor tried really hard not to mope on the way home, head against the cold car window, rain splattering against the glass. 

"You okay there, Con?" his dad called from behind the wheel, Nicola beside him glancing to the back seat.

"I told you, I'm fine dad." Connor met his eyes in the review mirror, forcing a smile until the light turned green and his dad put his eyes back on the road. 

"It's fine if you're not fine, Connor." Nicola began hesitantly, "the situation could've been handled differently and the airlines are to blam –" 

"Nicola, honestly," Connor interrupted. "It's alright. The airlines fucked up, it happens. I now get to spend a few more days here at home. Maybe it's what I need, who knows? But it's okay, stop fussing." He leaned over to nudge her arm, and she swatted him back at an attempt to buy what he was telling her. He tried again to smile at her when their dad told them to stop hitting, but he could tell by her sympathetic look he didn't quite muster it. He kept his own eyes on the rain on the rest of the way home. 

Pulling into their driveway, Connor's chest felt heavy. He had said goodbye to this place for the time being, he had hugged his mother tight and rolled his eyes while she begged him to take care of himself ("and your boy, he looks so tiny sometimes!"). He forced Brandon into an embrace that he pretended he wanted no part of, only to hug him back just as enthusiastically. He had the Last Night Out with his old friends and he'd gone to kiss his grandmother's cheek one last time. He'd been ready to leave. 

He sullenly made his way towards the house, Nicola and his dad walking ahead of him fast to get out of the rain. At the door, Sam and Pre lounged at their feet, glancing up and meowing at the sprinkle of water that slipped off their coats. Sam ran off to find dry carpet, Pre only sticking around to rub against Connor's feet before he bolted as the droplets hit his ears. 

Connor took his time removing his coat, trying to prolong the inevitable coddling from his mother. He heard her greeting his sister and father, and the hushed tones that followed that weren't too encouraging. 

He didn't want them to try to make him better. He was fine. A bit anxious, and frustrated, he can feel his skin crawling at the mental image of his schedule slowly falling to shreds, that's all. He needs to take a breather and figure out a new plan. It'll take a couple of minutes, maybe. Just to feel as if he's standing on his feet again. His day had opened now that he wasn't traveling and he had enough if lounging around.He just needed time to decide on what to do next. 

Exhaling shakily, he walked towards the rest of family. 

 

He should've gone to his room, should've checked the airlines again to see if anything opened up, should've filled his next days with plans and things to do. But he didn't.  
Connor rubbed his palms anxiously against the carpet, where he lied on his back next to Pre, who was playing with the string in his sweater.

He wondered how well he was doing, playing off the whole I'm-Fine-Please-Don't-Feel-Bad-For-Me facade. After the scene in the kitchen – where his mom called him "my baby" too many times and didn't want to let go of his hand until his dad asked if wanted to watch the football game with him, no one questioned it when Connor said yes, even though he doesn't like watching football and there wasn't actually a game on – he was trying to show how unaffected he was by the whole thing. 

Feeling his father's eyes on him as he made Pre pounce for the string, he didn't think they believed him. 

He didn't want it to be a big deal. It wasn't a big deal. He was given the wrong flight information, apparently that happens. He travels so often, it was bound to happen eventually. His anxiety and stress will be up and kicking for a while, until he can decide what to do next. It's fine. He's fine. 

 

Minutes, maybe an hour passed, and he stuck to that spot on the carpet, a cup of coffee now within reach. His dad left the room moments ago, and despite the whispering he could hear from the other room, he felt as if could breathe now that he was alone. He was thankful for the few minutes of time to himself as his parents walked in with regretful looks on their faces. 

"Connor, honey," his mother called out to him and gestured him over. He sat up slowly, fixing the string from his sweater so they hung evenly down his torso.  
"What's up?" He asked, leaning against the sofa.  
"Well," she began unsure. "Your father and I had made plans tonight to go over to the Pattersons' for a dinner party. We hadn't expected-" she cuts off and glanced at her husband for help. 

"Son, if you would like us not to go we can stay home." He dad quickly made the point, his mom nodding along.  
Connor shook his head immediately. "No, no. Go. It'll be fun." 

His mom eyebrows shot up, "are you sure honey? I know you don't like the Pattersons' very much." 

It's true, Connor never got along with their kids, but that wasn't what he'd meant. "I meant go, I'll stay home." 

Before his mom could protest, his dad spoke up. "Con, we can stay home with you son, it'll be our night since Nic and B are out. It's just one dinner." 

Connor didn't have to force the warm smile for the first time that day, the overbearing concern from his family came from a place of care and he loved them all so much, it eased his sour mood bit. "I'm serious, go! Honestly, you'd be doing me a favor. It's been too long since I had this place to myself. I need some quiet anyway, I think." 

Maybe it was the genuine smile, or the honesty that came with it, but they quickly relented and went off to get ready for their night out. Before long, they were out the door and Connor was left to himself. 

 

He grabbed a blanket from his room and fell into the cushions on the living couch, putting on some mindless movie on low volume, and made himself breathe. 

He felt his throat constrict as he let himself think of the anxiety of today's events, telling himself to keep calm, tears of stress welled up in eyes and his chest felt heavy, but he could finally feel the tips of his fingers again and he felt the weight of it begin to leave his shoulders. 

"It's okay," he told himself. "Not your fault." he repeated the mantra. "Nothing you could do." he inhaled and exhaled on the next words, "you couldn't fix this." 

When he felt his phone vibrate where it lay next to him, he had finally begun to feel normal again, as if the stress of the day didn't happen. 

Glancing at the name on the phone, he felt it come back at full force. 

Obviously this was something he should have prepared himself for, he didn't want to worry him as well, and he'd done such a great job at deterring his family earlier (not). 

But he couldn't not answer it, this was only the most important reason as to why he was upset in the first place. 

Except it wasn't, he told himself. We just saw each other. Distance is good for them. The stress and anxiety came from the fucking up of his plans, not from loneliness or the lack of being by his side. Obviously. 

Regardless of what he told himself, he still had to answer the phone. 

He accepted the call, "Hello?" 

"Hey." came the grunt of a reply. Connor smiled. 

"You sound horrible." He told him, a laugh in his voice. 

"Gee, thanks." Troye replied sarcastically, groaning as Connor assumed he sat up, the sound of blankets and bed creaking coming from the other end of the line. "Holy fuck." He mumbled to himself. 

"God, how much did you drink last night? I swear I can smell your breath from here." Connor teased some more, not bothering to hide his giggling at the faint "fuck off" that answered him. 

"It was Sage's first time clubbing with me, Blessing is here. I had to go hard." He tried to justify, sounding miserable. 

Connor only felt a little bad for him. "Poor baby, too bad I'm not there to kiss it better." Connor waited for response that didn't come, smile falling off his face as he remembered he should've been on his way there. 

"Yeah, too bad." Troye sighed. "What the fuck happened? Are they allowed to mess up flight info like that?" He asked, scoffing. 

"They're not allowed, I don't think. But it happens." Connor replied conversationally. 

"Fuck them." Troye groaned. "S'not fair." He said quietly, and a bit pathetically almost as if Connor wasn't suppose to hear. 

Connor hummed in response, feeling the tears prickle in his eyes again, only letting then spill once a Troye spoke again. 

"I miss you." 

"Miss you, too." He sniffed, and he could practically see Troye's face fall as it always does when he realizes Connor is crying. 

"Baby.." He starts, sounding equally if not more upset than Connor. 

"No, no, don't. I'm fine." Connor wiped at his eyes harshly, even though Troye is not there to see them in person. 

"Pfft, yeah right." Troye scoffed again, "you've probably been freaking out all day with all the free time you now have. Your schedule has been cleared without your consent, you're far from fine." He paused, "not to mention you're missing me, and I'm pretty great, so." 

Connor chuckled at his lame attempt to change the tone of their conversation. But he was also comforted by being read so easily, one less person to hide from. 

"True, what ever will I do without you?" Connor joked back. 

"I don't know, anyone's guess really." More movement came from Troye's end of the line. "Just don't spend the entire time in Minnesota crying over me, alright? I can only handle so much of your cliches." He sounded exasperated, but the underlying teasing transferred all the way from Perth. 

"Of course not, I have places to be. People to see. Other boyfriends to meet up with. It'll be great. This is the best thing that could've happened." Connor finished with a fake cheer. 

Troye whined, "Hey, I'm sick you can't be mean to me."

Connor laughed. "You're hungover, not sick. And you started it." 

"Fine, you win." Troye muttered reluctantly. "I feel fucking disgusting, my mouth tastes like ass. You sure you weren't here last night?" 

Connor gasped, scandalised "Troye Sivan!" 

"Ugh, please don't yell." He whimpered. 

"No, you deserved that. I'm hanging up on you now." He didn't, but he knew he had go let Troye go to start his day. 

"Yeah, okay." Troye paused to yawn, "I really wish you were on your way here." 

Connor sighed softly, "me too... I love you." 

"And I love you." Troye was under the weather enough to even blow a kiss through the phone. 

Connor's chest felt heavy again, but this time it was a good feeling. "I'll talk to you later, okay? Drink lots of water, put on sunscreen if you're outside–

"Okay, MUM–"

"– say hi to Blessing and the family for me." 

"I will, same to yours." Connor hummed in agreement. "I'm gonna let you go, text me if you hear anything at all about the flights, okay? Okay, love you, Con." 

"Love you, too." They said their goodbyes and the lined clicked dead. 

Connor tossed his phone back to where it was on the sofa beside him, feeling both relieved and sad. He missed him, but that wasn't new. They've made it far longer without each other and they can make it these next few days, however long it takes.


End file.
